Mad life

Life been mad recently.....not busily mad, but tensionly mad.....
been very down in mood recently.....been asking why god let me come to this "humanly" world....
there's no "human" in human nowadays.....homo sapien more like it.....no old traditions, no old virtues.....no filiality.....nothing......nothing human in a human....joke of the century....
mask - been seeing mask.....mask everywhere......wish in paleolitic life......though life goal is to survive hunger and cold.......
old centuries, or the natives of earth kill to survive....kill to be able to see another daylight.....
current century, kill to gain power, gain money, gain new house, gain new jeweleries....
what are those? what is the saying of basic necessities? shelther? clothes and food.....
nowadays is $$$.......
sometimes seems like unable to face people........just being alone.....enjoy the music......kinda fun...
happiness.....that's all i want.....that's all i want for people around me......though that's the hardest/ impossible thing to do......as 1 person can never satisfy everyone else.....
why god let human be the king of the kingdom? why provide thinking brain to us? so we can kill others for something that we do not need once we're dead?
there was an article i read earlier....saying a king told his civilian that he can run to cover an area and that area will be his by dawn.....with this, the greedy man ran and ran...by near to dawn, he already very very tired.....thirsty, and out of breath, but he cannot stop, he need to cover more area.......then he collapse and died......how many acre of a land a man needs? only 6 feets, to cover his body once he's dead.....
there are many evils surrounding us.....how to prevent ourselves from the poison?
wonder why god create us? everyone started as an innocent baby......influences came in from every direction.....that's the time when the devils crash in uninvited.....sometimes, being the stupid, innocent self gets bully.....then turn evils in order to survive......does this person evil or innocents? for those who bully others.......how bout them? they use their evilness and turn an innocent person into the evil zone.....really wish my next life (if there's any), i will not be a person anymore.....a non homo sapien......being the goody human, gets bully till turn evil....being the evil human, stay evil till old.......so, conclusion, human begin their life innocents and ends evil.......tada! are you surprise? im not........