i refuse to be a sand bag...
there's a small question that the whole universe cant answer....
how come we treat strangers with the utmost manner and politeness, but we take granted to those who cares for us? who give them the authority to even think that ppl close to us deserve to be sand bag?
no one deserve to be sand bag....
life philosophy: good deed deserve good return, bad deed, of course bad return.....
same life philosophy: ppl who cares for you deserve ur love, ppl who do bad things to you, deserve ur hatred...
why love ur enemy, when u cant even love ur loved ones?
simple task and yet so tough to do.....
Friday, October 1, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Scary
went to pasar malam just now, on the road side, there was a commotion and many ppl gathering around....told my friend, must be selling dvd....but....
there was 3 indonesian guys been caught for stealing or pick pocket.....and being caught by a bunch of "black area" kids, they scold them and beat them....
asked my friend, wanna call up police, but then saw a guy just came down from motorcycle and pulled up a police vest.....
the 3 guys are wrong, but the ppl beating them are wrong too...
so scary.......
just like seeing a movie.....
there was 3 indonesian guys been caught for stealing or pick pocket.....and being caught by a bunch of "black area" kids, they scold them and beat them....
asked my friend, wanna call up police, but then saw a guy just came down from motorcycle and pulled up a police vest.....
the 3 guys are wrong, but the ppl beating them are wrong too...
so scary.......
just like seeing a movie.....
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Tired
Have u ever been tired of living?
All this while was thinking god created me with a mission, but am i that important? Or im just a robot passing through an empty life? an empty shell....and without knowing this, i just pass 30? 40? or 50 useless years?
Im so tired....
Tired....tired of worries.....
Tired....tired of laughing....
Tired....tired of talking......
Tired....tired of listening....
Tired....tired of breathing....
Tired....tired of living......
So so tired.....
Sometime so much wanna drop everything and just jump!
Sometime so much hoping that a car can just end my life in an instance.....
Is this bad thought?
Been living for 30years....thought that i will live alone after couple of years, and kinda scare of it, but came to think of it, been living alone for the past 30 years too....
No accomplishments, nobody, no happiness, no health....
Closing to 30 years old in 3 more days, will be getting loads of good health, good wealth, happiness....etc....wishes....but will i get those wishes? or the persom whom wish must wish full heartedly?
beginning to believe that wishes are useless, god was never there to listen to my wishes.....
One's destiny was destined before he or she was born, so what can god help? nothing....
Is like living on a stage.....life is just like stage, heard my friend said so, now i understand why, because the story was written, there was a script ready at hand....you cannot do other play, except following the script......following the script to continue your life, unless you end the play earlier than it should be.....
I do not wish much, just happiness to all my loved ones....my parents, my family, my close friends.....
Not sure this wish can be granted by god, but sure wish so.....
All this while was thinking god created me with a mission, but am i that important? Or im just a robot passing through an empty life? an empty shell....and without knowing this, i just pass 30? 40? or 50 useless years?
Im so tired....
Tired....tired of worries.....
Tired....tired of laughing....
Tired....tired of talking......
Tired....tired of listening....
Tired....tired of breathing....
Tired....tired of living......
So so tired.....
Sometime so much wanna drop everything and just jump!
Sometime so much hoping that a car can just end my life in an instance.....
Is this bad thought?
Been living for 30years....thought that i will live alone after couple of years, and kinda scare of it, but came to think of it, been living alone for the past 30 years too....
No accomplishments, nobody, no happiness, no health....
Closing to 30 years old in 3 more days, will be getting loads of good health, good wealth, happiness....etc....wishes....but will i get those wishes? or the persom whom wish must wish full heartedly?
beginning to believe that wishes are useless, god was never there to listen to my wishes.....
One's destiny was destined before he or she was born, so what can god help? nothing....
Is like living on a stage.....life is just like stage, heard my friend said so, now i understand why, because the story was written, there was a script ready at hand....you cannot do other play, except following the script......following the script to continue your life, unless you end the play earlier than it should be.....
I do not wish much, just happiness to all my loved ones....my parents, my family, my close friends.....
Not sure this wish can be granted by god, but sure wish so.....
Angle of Perspective
Heard a story before:
A man and his son was bringing their donkey to market for sale. Along the road, they met a lady whom ask: why let the small kid walks so far? he looks so tired, why don't let him sit on top of the donkey?" Therefore the man asked his son to sit on the donkey.
They go on walking....Then they met a middle age man whom ask "why you guys are stupid? u are going to sell off the donkey, why don't u two sit behind the donkey back?" Then the man go up joining his son behind the donkey back.
They go on walking.....Then they met an old man whom ask "you guys are so cruel to the animal, with both of your weights the animal cannot move at all!!" The man came down and ask his son to come down too....
Moral of the story:
Everyone looks at thing(s) from different perspective, no matter how right or wrong, who knows? why wanna do things per what OTHERS ask? Ask yourself, have you done anything wrong???
If no, then have no fear....no one can satisfy everyone else.....some will say you are wrong, some will say u have done right here, but wrong there.....
> Everyone find OTHER's fault, but never look through mirror for any fault....<
A man and his son was bringing their donkey to market for sale. Along the road, they met a lady whom ask: why let the small kid walks so far? he looks so tired, why don't let him sit on top of the donkey?" Therefore the man asked his son to sit on the donkey.
They go on walking....Then they met a middle age man whom ask "why you guys are stupid? u are going to sell off the donkey, why don't u two sit behind the donkey back?" Then the man go up joining his son behind the donkey back.
They go on walking.....Then they met an old man whom ask "you guys are so cruel to the animal, with both of your weights the animal cannot move at all!!" The man came down and ask his son to come down too....
Moral of the story:
Everyone looks at thing(s) from different perspective, no matter how right or wrong, who knows? why wanna do things per what OTHERS ask? Ask yourself, have you done anything wrong???
If no, then have no fear....no one can satisfy everyone else.....some will say you are wrong, some will say u have done right here, but wrong there.....
> Everyone find OTHER's fault, but never look through mirror for any fault....<
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
none
i used to be so childish type of person till i worry that i'll get bully when i go college time...
i really wanna be a child now....irresponsible child....child without anything to worry bout....a child with just the thought of making friends or enemy.... :)
no worry....no regrets.....no sadness....
sometime so much wanna end this lifetime to proceed to the next life and see whether i'll be blessed to be an animal.....to be a small little bird.....just fly............when im sad.......fly.......let the sadness goes with the wind....
been seeing loads of people who wants more and more daily.....never stop asking, never stop fighting......
just to get all the materialistic things....what'll happen with those things after u complete this lifetime?
many do not appreciate the bad luck that they receive.....those are blessed bad luck......as you've been prevented worst luck ever......
been in bad state before......as for me maybe worse luck ever....and i hope my bad luck will stay that way.....
do not reach the worst luck.......
people always say, nah.....im lucky enough, but from time to time they'll cry over a small bad luck....they have not encountered worse luck.....i have.....and i do love the bad lucks im having now......
from my lifetime experience i believe that i've done really bad things in my past to deserve such worse luck in this lifetime........if i haven't paid enough, i wish god will let me go to my next life soon.....but can i? do i have to pay again in my next life?
what's it like to be dead? many people cant answer this, or should i say no human can answer this.....
from teaching, we know that we must do good deeds to earn good returns and vice versa.....does it worth it?
im such a weak person....cant fight....physically and mentally....
am i asking too much from god to end my life earlier? what do he have to lose? me not paying enough? does all my sufferings insufficient to pay for my past life faults?
im not sure how long can i stand....how long can i stop the evil from coming out of me......
why devil always sweet? why god only give sufferring? why god dont give the sufferring to bad people?
why they must have good life this lifetime because the past life been very good.....and this lifetime been bad.....and the cycle goes on? why god even created greed? why should there be an even a word for it?
why when u can read the future, why don't u prevent it? why create so much sufferring to the mankind whom you have created? i do not believe you love us...we are just like a big mice farm to you....an experimental farm..............
i really wanna be a child now....irresponsible child....child without anything to worry bout....a child with just the thought of making friends or enemy.... :)
no worry....no regrets.....no sadness....
sometime so much wanna end this lifetime to proceed to the next life and see whether i'll be blessed to be an animal.....to be a small little bird.....just fly............when im sad.......fly.......let the sadness goes with the wind....
been seeing loads of people who wants more and more daily.....never stop asking, never stop fighting......
just to get all the materialistic things....what'll happen with those things after u complete this lifetime?
many do not appreciate the bad luck that they receive.....those are blessed bad luck......as you've been prevented worst luck ever......
been in bad state before......as for me maybe worse luck ever....and i hope my bad luck will stay that way.....
do not reach the worst luck.......
people always say, nah.....im lucky enough, but from time to time they'll cry over a small bad luck....they have not encountered worse luck.....i have.....and i do love the bad lucks im having now......
from my lifetime experience i believe that i've done really bad things in my past to deserve such worse luck in this lifetime........if i haven't paid enough, i wish god will let me go to my next life soon.....but can i? do i have to pay again in my next life?
what's it like to be dead? many people cant answer this, or should i say no human can answer this.....
from teaching, we know that we must do good deeds to earn good returns and vice versa.....does it worth it?
im such a weak person....cant fight....physically and mentally....
am i asking too much from god to end my life earlier? what do he have to lose? me not paying enough? does all my sufferings insufficient to pay for my past life faults?
im not sure how long can i stand....how long can i stop the evil from coming out of me......
why devil always sweet? why god only give sufferring? why god dont give the sufferring to bad people?
why they must have good life this lifetime because the past life been very good.....and this lifetime been bad.....and the cycle goes on? why god even created greed? why should there be an even a word for it?
why when u can read the future, why don't u prevent it? why create so much sufferring to the mankind whom you have created? i do not believe you love us...we are just like a big mice farm to you....an experimental farm..............
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Karma
Is it my own fault?
When we blame others for not treating us well or good....do we ever blame our ownselves?
Sometime my heart so sour....very very sour....blaming others for not treating me well.....but i have not realize could this be karma to me? had i done something bad to those people whom treat me bad?
Sometime my heart so painful when knowing your friend lies to u at ur face.....but would u prefer not to know? Prefer not knowing that he or she had lie to u? Or prefer to know so that u'll see the true color of that person....but once know, what will u do? pain?
Sometime u'll wonder why he or she can do this to you? Can it be that person really bad and want to step on u? Or could it be that in the past life u had did something bad to him or her?
How to differentiate? How come god never tells u which is it? Is it yourself bad or is it that person really bad? how do god expect us to be good with this question keep running in our mind? sometime people tells me that they had reach near nirvana state....but i cant believe that too as sometime i do see the bad things that they do, which they do not see.....my friend said before, why people never see how bad they are before condeming on others? it seems so hard.....so hard.....unless everyone brings mirror everywhere they go....
to see their own reflection.....
sometime i do think that those people do not worth me being angry or upset.....but sometime u'll still feels the pain.....is it because human are make from flesh and blood, as well as internal feeling....how do one describe feeling? i dont know.....sometime being emotionless is good? i think so as i prefer to become animals or better still, plants when i reincarnate..... :)
i guess if god ever let me become animal or plant, god must love me alot!!!! :) i guess in this life i become human must be in the past i have been very very naughty.....
i can honestly say to god whom sees me from above, everytime i pray, i pray for others.....only a few times for myself.....as i mentioned before, i do not have much desire in my life.....but sometime feels like why? why do i pray for others? why not being selfish and only pray for your ownself? why being so good to others, when others do not appreciate you?
but that comes back to the same question, had you done something bad to this person so you have to pay them bad or you are doing good to bad people????
i believe no one can answer this question, even our Martian friend... :)
Conclusion: should we do good or bad? am i being stupid to treat good to bad people or i should be good so in future i'll have good karma? does this means im asking for return on the good deeds that i do?
trying so hard not to angry at ohers.....but inside i know that i should continue to do that no matter how hard it is.....since we'll keep on guessing who's truth and who's lies.....we might as well believe in truth....else it's gonna be so so painful.....
if i put someone into my hate list i know that it'll be so hard to pull it out.....and i do really really hate to add anyone into that list as i know that i'll be so cautious on whatever input that person gives me....and i do hate so much to guess, so hate to guess on the bad thoughts.......
Does treating bad people with bad intention is good? Mad huh? :)
When we blame others for not treating us well or good....do we ever blame our ownselves?
Sometime my heart so sour....very very sour....blaming others for not treating me well.....but i have not realize could this be karma to me? had i done something bad to those people whom treat me bad?
Sometime my heart so painful when knowing your friend lies to u at ur face.....but would u prefer not to know? Prefer not knowing that he or she had lie to u? Or prefer to know so that u'll see the true color of that person....but once know, what will u do? pain?
Sometime u'll wonder why he or she can do this to you? Can it be that person really bad and want to step on u? Or could it be that in the past life u had did something bad to him or her?
How to differentiate? How come god never tells u which is it? Is it yourself bad or is it that person really bad? how do god expect us to be good with this question keep running in our mind? sometime people tells me that they had reach near nirvana state....but i cant believe that too as sometime i do see the bad things that they do, which they do not see.....my friend said before, why people never see how bad they are before condeming on others? it seems so hard.....so hard.....unless everyone brings mirror everywhere they go....
to see their own reflection.....
sometime i do think that those people do not worth me being angry or upset.....but sometime u'll still feels the pain.....is it because human are make from flesh and blood, as well as internal feeling....how do one describe feeling? i dont know.....sometime being emotionless is good? i think so as i prefer to become animals or better still, plants when i reincarnate..... :)
i guess if god ever let me become animal or plant, god must love me alot!!!! :) i guess in this life i become human must be in the past i have been very very naughty.....
i can honestly say to god whom sees me from above, everytime i pray, i pray for others.....only a few times for myself.....as i mentioned before, i do not have much desire in my life.....but sometime feels like why? why do i pray for others? why not being selfish and only pray for your ownself? why being so good to others, when others do not appreciate you?
but that comes back to the same question, had you done something bad to this person so you have to pay them bad or you are doing good to bad people????
i believe no one can answer this question, even our Martian friend... :)
Conclusion: should we do good or bad? am i being stupid to treat good to bad people or i should be good so in future i'll have good karma? does this means im asking for return on the good deeds that i do?
trying so hard not to angry at ohers.....but inside i know that i should continue to do that no matter how hard it is.....since we'll keep on guessing who's truth and who's lies.....we might as well believe in truth....else it's gonna be so so painful.....
if i put someone into my hate list i know that it'll be so hard to pull it out.....and i do really really hate to add anyone into that list as i know that i'll be so cautious on whatever input that person gives me....and i do hate so much to guess, so hate to guess on the bad thoughts.......
Does treating bad people with bad intention is good? Mad huh? :)
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