Karma

Is it my own fault?
When we blame others for not treating us well or good....do we ever blame our ownselves?
Sometime my heart so sour....very very sour....blaming others for not treating me well.....but i have not realize could this be karma to me? had i done something bad to those people whom treat me bad?
Sometime my heart so painful when knowing your friend lies to u at ur face.....but would u prefer not to know? Prefer not knowing that he or she had lie to u? Or prefer to know so that u'll see the true color of that person....but once know, what will u do? pain?
Sometime u'll wonder why he or she can do this to you? Can it be that person really bad and want to step on u? Or could it be that in the past life u had did something bad to him or her?
How to differentiate? How come god never tells u which is it? Is it yourself bad or is it that person really bad? how do god expect us to be good with this question keep running in our mind? sometime people tells me that they had reach near nirvana state....but i cant believe that too as sometime i do see the bad things that they do, which they do not see.....my friend said before, why people never see how bad they are before condeming on others? it seems so hard.....so hard.....unless everyone brings mirror everywhere they go....
to see their own reflection.....
sometime i do think that those people do not  worth me being angry or upset.....but sometime u'll still feels the pain.....is it because human are make from flesh and blood, as well as internal feeling....how do one describe feeling? i dont know.....sometime being emotionless is good? i think so as i prefer to become animals or better still, plants when i reincarnate..... :)
i guess if god ever let me become animal or plant, god must love me alot!!!! :) i guess in this life i become human must be in the past i have been very very naughty.....
i can honestly say to god whom sees me from above, everytime i pray, i pray for others.....only a few times for myself.....as i mentioned before, i do not have much desire in my life.....but sometime feels like why? why do i pray for others? why not being selfish and only pray for your ownself? why being so good to others, when others do not appreciate you?
but that comes back to the same question, had you done something bad to this person so you have to pay them bad or you are doing good to bad people????
i believe no one can answer this question, even our Martian friend... :)
Conclusion: should we do good or bad? am i being stupid to treat good to bad people or i should be good so in future i'll have good karma? does this means im asking for return on the good deeds that i do?
trying so hard not to angry at ohers.....but inside i know that i should continue to do that no matter how hard it is.....since we'll keep on guessing who's truth and who's lies.....we might as well believe in truth....else it's gonna be so so painful.....
if i put someone into my hate list i know that it'll be so hard to pull it out.....and i do really really hate to add anyone into that list as i know that i'll be so cautious on whatever input that person gives me....and i do hate so much to guess, so hate to guess on the bad thoughts.......
Does treating bad people with bad intention is good? Mad huh? :)